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2026-09-22 14:02:09
fbm:1790082129286:069166f81e 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Im going in the office tomorrow so not sure about food. We could have chicken fried rice but grandad might not be allowed
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:52:02
fbm:1790081522222:2c74369f09 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
Screenshot text: Andy Burnham 5h  It's estimated that one in five women in the UK will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. But if you lose a pregnancy before 24 weeks, there is currently no legal right to bereavement leave. I don't think that's right. Losing a pregnancy can be devastating. You and your partner shouldn't have to worry about going straight back to work. So we're changing the law. From April, women and their partners will be entitled to two weeks off after any pregnancy loss. And we're making wider changes, with new rights to time off when you lose someone you love. When you're grieving, you deserve the time and space to do that.
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Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:51:26
fbm:1790081485844:fd172d3a2e 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19fzAsfZdd/?mibextid=wwXIfr
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:48:57
fbm:1790081337377:f192635e4c 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I’ve been talking with Gloria . Can they come tomorrow evening? I can finish work early, prepare food, get grandad, get Anna
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:44:21
fbm:1790081060596:f90b293adf 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Sorry driving
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:44:09
fbm:1790081049487:f219917e17 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
No
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:38:20
fbm:1790080699994:16c9b81ea5 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
Have you seen it
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:38:17
fbm:1790080696966:6d69dc69f2 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
Tiago’s weather station shows 24.3 on the edge of the roof next to our house
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:38:00
fbm:1790080679789:e2fc612d98 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
I know ite boiling I cant believe it
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:37:52
fbm:1790080671709:f17cda4227 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Sorry I just went in for the bloods
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:36:20
fbm:1790080579789:7b775845b7 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
Car showed 31, warehouse 27, outside at home shows 22
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:36:05
fbm:1790080564639:96c535e41e 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
And it’s so hot
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:33:30
fbm:1790080410101:f18b01b7e9 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I need a nap
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:33:27
fbm:1790080407073:a81c44fd97 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I’ve eaten and now I can’t even keep my head up
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:32:03
fbm:1790080323232:904ded19ad 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
So I will try to stay out of the house more then
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:31:53
fbm:1790080313129:cdb668c858 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I mean I want that so you aren’t so upset. But it’s very scary
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:31:25
fbm:1790080284837:1997c9032c 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
I dont know this is why i feel helpless now, if at least we were on the same page with this and I could come to you for support might have felt easier I just feel so alone in this. I cant even come to you cause you dont want that and it gets me angry when you tell me im sorry I wish you were pregnant when I k ow you didnt want that. I dont know how to continue be happy around you i feel as well im calmer when you aren't home.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:29:23
fbm:1790080162622:67c83ab53c 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
OK so what now other than apologise am I supposed to do? And I still don’t want to go through the treatment again…
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:28:33
fbm:1790080113126:d7c65d9260 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Yeah my tone is terrible I notice that. But its because im irritable ans unhappy and i am angry with you yes, and comes out on the little things. But underneath it is the lack of connection between us. The lack of intimacy the disagreement on having a baby. I get so frustrated about you postponing things making me take hormones then postponing thinking maybe if I tried earlier my body would have accepted the embryos better or I would have had more time. Then angry with myself for letting that happen then angry that im being unfair its a big circle I can't explain im angry at everything.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:26:00
fbm:1790079959595:bf8a0e43a2 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I mean, I don’t want to be horrible, but it really brings me down a lot, not all the time, but much of the time, just being around you at the moment
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:25:32
fbm:1790079932328:a82e61cf5a 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I mean everything, I don’t know, just the general tone
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:24:45
fbm:1790079884832:74ad980da2 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
I havent been in ages
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:24:41
fbm:1790079880792:c97cae9cd0 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
When was I upset about dishwasher?
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:24:28
fbm:1790079867670:a4fc36bf37 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
So why do you get so upset about them?
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:24:01
fbm:1790079841407:80816a53e1 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Exactly I dont even care aboit those things anymore, there are much bigger things to resolve.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:23:28
fbm:1790079808076:49cd78f170 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
But i cant be happy. My fear is i will end up even more anxious and miserable for the rest of my life. And then even blame myself for it and feel even worse.. i feel so happy and upbit when treatment starts ever time its unreal the difference.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:22:57
fbm:1790079776767:81f781d73f 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I mean, I forgot to do this or that, dishwasher or something else, so what, it’s not the biggest problem in front of us that the dishwasher wasn’t run…should I just say that??
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:22:16
fbm:1790079736360:e318cd06b3 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
OK and if I don’t apologise?
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:22:00
fbm:1790079720194:4a67268553 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Come on, thats why i said follow the guy. That blank apology is so fake and pointless. Who benefits from that, you just act like the victim it seems. Its very irritating. You do it to make yourself feel better it feels I apologised you cant be angry now. What difference does that make to me?
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:21:43
fbm:1790079703034:82ba9ae0b0 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
Anna would benefit from a sibling. But a healthy and happy, present mummy is even more important in my eyes
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:21:21
fbm:1790079680808:77b4546057 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
The stillbirth nearly finished you off
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:20:31
fbm:1790079631307:59bf242263 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
But I know I am scared as well, im not oblivious to that fact im old who knows how my perimenopausal body will cope with that, plus sleepless nights..but I am still willing its stronger you dont get it.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:20:24
fbm:1790079624247:2fda1a8702 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
When I feel like I have to apologise all day every time for literally everything and still
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:19:38
fbm:1790079577770:54285e0a79 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
But it’s not my fault that it happened. And I seem to take all the blame. It’s really hard
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:19:31
fbm:1790079570695:1dbb2005d3 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Its a big desire, and as chatgpt says you might feel great relief and sense of accomplishment knowing youve got the family you wanted and seeing you daughter despite tbe struggles with babies.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:19:15
fbm:1790079554545:ef367780f9 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I know
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:18:22
fbm:1790079502016:20eb882e4f 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
I think it will. Its all I see everywhere I go these siblings playing together, anna looking at them. Ive imagined having that for so long anna looking after baby, teaching it everything. Its so heartbreaking to watch her do that with pinky. When it should have been a real.baby.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:16:43
fbm:1790079403038:dd01b35228 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I just don’t know what is so bad about life for you. And having another baby, I’m not convinced that it will make you happier
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:16:35
fbm:1790079394935:b39cc39873 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
When I cant have the one thing I wanted. And its out of my control.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:16:06
fbm:1790079365641:31faf2e8fe 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
I am like this because Im having a big fear about the future, I will get through it one way or another. But I know I wont be happy when im not having the life I want even if I look normal to the outside world.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:15:59
fbm:1790079358587:ba2a15ff77 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
It is almost inconceivable that stillbirth would not cause depression
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:15:39
fbm:1790079339391:dbb6428bf5 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
But I think that applies to you
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:14:57
fbm:1790079296954:103b11d350 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
There is always a trigger for it, whether environmental, drugs, or medical like bad wiring in the brain...to me depression is if it interferes with day to day life if you cant function, do the basics like go to work, clean eat look after yourself and your dependants. Sadness and disappointment with life can be there for your whole life for various reasons, its how you deal with it.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:11:23
fbm:1790079082815:7340b8af15 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Yes of course. I see.
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:11:10
fbm:1790079069692:4f7bec0e4a 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
Maybe. But as I say. It comes from circumstances, not just being mental
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:10:47
fbm:1790079047460:685ca27ae1 		Suzana Janachkova
to Behnam Rafraf
Suzana 		incoming
Well you cant say you arent when you are on meds, I mean you feel better but its because of meds. Its managed depression really
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:10:20
fbm:1790079020201:5f54f56194 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
Circumstances are a lot and they convinced me taking sertraline is an effective way to keep clear headed. And it works
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:09:55
fbm:1790078994940:1090b71b3d 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
And not in a clinical way, I.e. just mental
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:09:45
fbm:1790078984840:85645bb645 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I don’t think I’m depressed now
 — Facebook Messenger
2026-09-22 13:09:39
fbm:1790078978787:4fa093adb0 		Behnam Rafraf
to Suzana Janachkova
Behnam 		outgoing
I don’t know if you call it clinical depression vs …? I don’t know, situational or environmental
 — Facebook Messenger
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